Tired of Judgey Bitches Who Have It All

Dear Judgmental Bitch That Has It All,

My name is Jasmine. I am 31. I don’t have children and yes I’m aware that my cat doesn’t count. I just found full time employment after two years of being under/overemployed. Meaning I had three fucking part time jobs with no benefits, and I made pennies! I made enough sometimes to cover my bills, but hey! Sometimes I starved! I don’t own a car, nor do I know how to drive because driving seemed like an unnecessary expense when your rubbing two pennies together!

Yes. My life isn’t perfect. It took me months to buy a new winter coat that fits, It’s taken me longer to lose weight due to the fucking pain I’m in that is constant. And my once clear skin is mad blotchy due to having PCOS.  No, I’m not perfect.

Last year I made $22,000. I barely survived..but guess what! I survived. And yes I’m single! I don’t imagine getting out much to meet a guy, with my overweight frame and blotchy skin and the simple fact that I don’t feel comfortable in it. Nor do I expect  to have the time while I’m  working overtime to make maybe make a third of what you make. For the past 14 years ever since I was seventeen, I have done the very best I could and somehow my very best is never enough.

So, No! I don’t have a shiny diamond ring on my finger, a husband to dote over,a home that I own or even a car! but guess what? Not a lot of people at this point in time in America do. So, Spare your judgment.

I’m glad that your parents pushed you to excellence, so much so that you didn’t develop a real identity out of what they wanted for you. I’m glad that all your hard work resulted in generational wealth which would take me a couple hundred years to catch up on. I’m glad that you found someone that you feel you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, but seeing that nearly half od marriages end in divorce..Lets hope you two make it. I’m glad that no one has ever beaten you, I’m glad that you haven’t been raped three times like me, maybe not even once. Nor have you dealt with emotional and physical abuse before you even left home, I’m glad that no one blames you if bad things happen to you, that you have not dealt with depression so crippling you second guess yourself every day. And I  hope to god that it never happens.

I’m glad someone put you on a path. That’s great.

Let me tell you something about me:

Yes. I am a black woman. No, I’ve never done drugs. I’ve Drank alcohol only twice in my life at age 27 and 28 both my birthdays and never again since. No, I don’t want children, have children, or feel I NEED TO HAVE CHILDREN! Who wants fucking kids when you make 22 fucking thousand a year? No, I’m not a romantic prospect because somehow I’m suppose to fit a stereotype. No, I don’t own a television because I like to read. No, I don’t come from a close knit family. Again my life isn’t perfect and I’ll never pretend it to be.  I work hard. I’m often times the best employee at my job, I maintain an upbeat attitude because life is pain and that’s all I’ve ever known, I spend my spare time studying for my bachelors because I didn’t get a chance to go straight to college after high school. In fact, I didn’t graduate from high school. I had to get my GED while I lived in a homeless shelter for youth.  Every roadblock I had, I never laid down. I kept pushing, kept moving, even when I felt dead fucking tired. I kept moving.

So, You can sit there with your diamond ring, perfect teeth, clear skin, nice house, nice car, and talk down to me. Let me tell you something that will blow your mind.

“My purpose isn’t tied to my occupation and my worth isn’t tied to who desires me”.

Again, I’m not perfect. Not rich. Not famous. Not prestigious. I am me, and I have and will always do the best I can. And just because I am here right now, doesn’t mean I will always be here.

Sincerely,

Jasmine

PS – If you gotta advertise how happy you are, can you  really say you’re really happy?

 

 

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